Whispers and Rumors

I was once told that the left is full of a bunch of “fucked up people doing fucked up things to other fucked up people.” The truth of this statement resonates loudly--from the echoes of peoples’ whispers. Women in today’s society deal with a variety of injustices. The victimization of women occurs in many forms, including physical abuse, sexual assault, exploitation, and objectification.  Yet another form of victimization exists, and may be potentially more ominous than the more obvious forms of assault against women. Society has placed restrictions on women: certain behaviors are deemed acceptable, while others are not. Society, for example, still places restrictions on women’s sexuality. Although we have come far from the stigma stemming from puritan ideals (Nathanial Hawthorn’s, “The Scarlet Letter,” comes to mind), the sexual expression of women is often still seen as scandalous and sinful.

A woman’s identity is wrapped up in society’s expectations, and threats to her reputation can lead to ostracism and public humiliation. Heterosexual men have been granted a free pass in regards to sexual behavior, while women walk a tight rope of discretion. Men have long used this privilege to silence and discredit women who have accused them of misconduct. It is common practice for men to label their accuser a “liar” or “whore,” or more simply say something to the nature of, “she’s just mad that I didn’t love her.” Such comments shift the blame exclusively onto the woman. The man gets off “scot-free.” Once the burden of blame is shifted to the woman, the trial begins. She is placed in a position where she must defend herself—the accuser becomes the accused. She must go to extraordinary lengths to tell her side of the story, and simply hope people believe her.

In attempt to declare his innocence and gain supporters, he talks to everyone he encounters. He is fully aware of the social stigma women face regarding sexuality, and uses it to his advantage. He spreads a mixture of truth and lies, or simply just lies. Without question,  he is believed. The story is the talk of the town—Hollywood drama meets everyday life. Not only is the woman left without any feeling of justice, she now suffers from public shame and scorn. The woman has no longer been victimized by one man, she has been victimized by the broader community.

This is yet another example of the subtleties of patriarchy. Society believes men over women, especially men with “good” reputations—as if a man with a good reputation or good politics cannot engage in patriarchal behaviors. So continue to whisper if you must, just remember there are always three sides to a story: her side, his side, and the truth!